Jim listened to his cellmate's even breathing.  He had known the moment that Chase drifted off to sleep.  He was telling the truth; he was exhausted.  However, his mind stubbornly refused to cooperate with him and shut down.  Chase said that he was a decent man.  Why couldn't the mercenary continue to hate him?  Now, he felt all the more guilt over the direction his earlier thoughts had taken.  Guilt or no, however, he could not help his feelings.  Better Chase than Blair.  He hoped Pete had the good sense to keep Blair far from here.  Of course, he was once again assuming that Blair would care what happened to him.  Chase said that Blair missed him, but he did not say Blair forgave him.  Huge difference there.

 

There was no reason for Blair to come back anyway.  Jim's senses were gone.  He did not need a guide.  He had lost even that to bring Blair back to him.  Blair had a chance to get his doctorate now and go on with his life.  Traveling the world, learning everything he could, that was Blair's real joy in life.  As long as Blair was learning something, he was happy.  His second joy was teaching what he had learned.  Jim had nearly destroyed his chances to do those things.  No, Blair was better off without Jim.  There was just one problem.  Jim was not better off without Blair.

 

It was the same result every time he took that round trip in his head.  He needed Blair.  Blair did not need him.  He wanted Blair to come home, but had no right to expect it or even ask it.

 

Georgetown.  Blair had a chance to go to Georgetown.  No one deserved it more.  He should go.  He should get his doctorate.  And yet, what would his thesis be?  It could not be the sentinel thesis.  Jim had not been exposed as a sentinel.  The world thought Jim simply had experienced a few isolated instances of heightened hearing, if he remembered the final version of the story right.  He could not publish on Barnes, not with Baker and Rose out there.  If Pete took them down, maybe then he could.  But that thought made Jim nervous.  Even after all that they had been through, the idea that Blair might make heightened senses public knowledge made his heart pound in his chest.  Once the world knew, how long before his secret was exposed, regardless of who the dissertation named? 

 

Which brought him to the old argument.  Why the hell had Blair put his name in the damn paper to begin with?  They had talked about it, and argued about it until both of them were blue in the face.  Blair saying that it was just the rough draft and that the final would not have named him, pointing out that the introductory chapter had long since been turned in and properly cleansed of Jim's name.  Then Jim arguing that it was still careless of him to have his name in it at all and for him to leave it sitting around for just anybody to see.  Which had started the argument about Naomi.  Absent and absent-minded Naomi.  Jim was still angry with her.  She had taken off pretty quickly after turning their lives upside down and left Blair wounded by her last words.  Yes, she had been all smiles in the bullpen, pretending to be the supportive mother while everyone was looking, but once she got Blair alone, it was a whole new ballgame.  She had made it clear that she could not accept her son becoming a cop.  She had even told Blair that if he went through with the Academy she would not be around for him anymore.  As if she ever had been. 

 

Another argument had ensued between he and Blair as Blair waffled between being Jim's partner and his mother's son.  Jim could admit now that he had browbeaten Blair into the Academy.  Blair would never have been happy as a cop.  He hated acknowledging that, because, in a way, it made Naomi right.  He frowned.  He had to stop thinking now.  Whenever he came to the conclusion that Naomi was right, it was a bad sign for his sanity.  A zone would be nice, he decided.  But instead of a zone, he finally succumbed to sleep.

 

"If you try to leave me here, I'll follow you."

 

Pete observed the stubborn face of Blair Sandburg, but he had no intention of giving in.  "You can't.  You'll just hurt yourself.  Alex has traps all over these woods.  Don't even try it, because we are not coming back for you.  We don't have the time.  You'll be stuck here and injured."

 

"No, I won't.  Kit pointed out all of Alex's traps.  I have them mapped out in my head.  Unless he's changed them in the last week, I know where each and every one of them is located."  Arms crossed over his chest, Blair gave Pete a smug grin.

 

Pete looked to Alex who half-shrugged at him.

 

"So then, it's settled.  I'll go get my things."  Blair left them standing in the living room of the cabin.

 

"Is he bluffing?" Pete finally asked aloud.

 

"Don't know.  Maybe, maybe not.  Kit does know where my traps are, and I haven't changed them since we've been here."

 

"Fuck!"

 

"Sorry, Pete."

 

Pete sighed.  "Fine.  Better not take the chance."

 

"As much as I know he's not ready, I'd rather him be with us than trailing behind us, unprotected.  He is getting pretty good with a gun."

 

"He did hold his own in El Salvador that time.  Damn it!  It's too soon after—well, you know."  He gestured.

 

"His breakdown?  I seem to recall I wasn't long back from my little trip to Looneyville when you hired me."

 

Pete turned sharply to look at his friend, thinking that perhaps he had managed to insult Alex.  But he was smiling so Pete just tried to qualify his doubts.  "That was different."

 

"Yes, I suppose so, but to tell you the truth, if anything, Blair is more stable that I was.  He'll be fine."

 

Pete grimaced and flung his hands up in surrender.  "I can not believe that Kit showed him all those traps!"

 

"He needed to.  They were planning to be in the woods quite a bit, you know."

 

"Well, what's done is done.  Let's just go get him."

 

"So you can kill him yourself?"  Alex chuckled.

 

"Thought did cross my mind.  The little—"

 

"Bastard," Alex finished, laughing.

 

"Why is my life so complicated?"  Pete whined.

 

"Karma," came the answer from a blue flannelled, curly-headed blur that passed by him on its way to the door.  "Let's go.  Time's wasting."  Blair opened the door and gestured for them to precede him.

 

"Blair, where's your gun?"  Alex was surprisingly nonchalant about the question.

 

"In my backpack."

 

"Where you can't get to it," Alex calmly pointed out.

 

"Oh, there is that."  The idea was obviously just striking the anthropologist.

 

Pete was not sure if he wanted to laugh or cry.  "Karma," he muttered as he walked out of the door.

 

"Good morning, Mr. Chase.  If you would, please, come with me."

 

Kit glanced at Ellison.  The man was focused on Rose, however.  He regarded the man with blank eyes, but Kit knew better.  He knew that Ellison would have his own unpleasantness to face once Kit was gone and that he was trying to be stoic.  "See you later." 

 

Ellison gave him a half-nod and went back to his breakfast.

 

Kit grabbed his crutches and hobbled out the door.  Rose placed one hand on the small of Kit's back as they made their way down the hall.  The hand made Kit's skin crawl.  "Where are we going?"

 

"To meet your new sentinel."

 

"Lovely."

 

"Yes, actually, she is.  You remember her, don't you?"

 

"Of course."

 

"Mr. Chase, do I have to tell you what will happen to you if you don't succeed with Ms. Barnes?"

 

"No."

 

"Good, good.  That's wonderful.  Ready?"

 

"Not really."

 

Rose laughed as he came to a stop outside a door.

 

"She's crazy, you know.  No one may be able to help her."

 

"Mr. Chase, Kit.  May I call you Kit?"

 

"No, I would really prefer that you didn't."

 

Rose laughed again.  "Mr. Chase, then.  You had better help her or you die."  He turned to the door behind him.  He slid his passkey through the sensor and the door opened.  "After you."

 

"How do I know you'll follow me?"

 

"I have no intention of following.  I'll be in the observation room."  Rose ever so gently but firmly pulled Kit toward the door then pushed him through it.  The door closed and Kit stood, balanced on his good leg and the crutches, inside a padded room.

When he did not immediately see Alex Barnes, the back of his head started tingling. Slowly, he turned.  Before he could face her, however, she slammed into him, knocking him to the floor.  His crutches clattered loudly on the tiled floor, and she released him and grabbed her head.  She whimpered and crawled away.  He lay there for a moment, trying to regain his breath.  Pain lanced up his leg, and his head was suddenly pounding once again.  When he could breath again, he sat up.  His vision was slightly out of focus, but he located her quickly.  She was huddled in the far corner of the room.  He opened his mind to her and gasped at what he saw.  There before him was the spotted jaguar, but that was not the shock.  The shock came when he caught sight of the tiny cub she was curled around.  He shifted his sight, drawing his consciousness out of the spirit plane.  Looking now at the blond woman he could see the slight protrusion of her abdomen.  She was pregnant.

 

Rage rolled through him, making him hot and nauseated.  He cursed Rose not quite under his breath, and she whimpered again, obviously frightened by his anger.  He glared at the mirror where he knew Rose was watching.  He did not expect a response from the man, and he did not get one.  Sighing and cursing again, he crawled slowly over to her.  Even as he did, the battle raged.

 

This woman was a criminal.  She had tried to kill Blair Sandburg and almost succeeded.   She had killed others.  She was a thief.  But she was hurting and scared.  And carrying another life inside her.  That life was innocent of her crimes.  He was torn, but her pain called out to him, and he continued to move toward her, not away.  He could not help himself. 

 

Rose was a monster.  How could a man do such a horrible thing?  Barnes was no angel, true, but in her present state, she was helpless to defend herself.  She had probably been drugged into submission.  Kit felt sick and he fought down the bile that threatened in the back of his throat.  Did she even understand what had happened, what was happening?  His vision showed her spirit self protecting the cub, but that did not mean that Alex Barnes knew or understood that she was pregnant.  Why would Rose do this?  Actually, he had not, Kit realized.  White-hot truth set his veins on fire.  Not Rose.  Not exactly anyway.  Ellison.  Ellison was the father of that child.  Portions of the file they had found flashed through Kit's head like pictures on a screen.  Rose wanted to start a breeding program and he had.  The medical report on Ellison had listed a sperm count, meaning they had taken samples.  Rose had impregnated Alex Barnes with Ellison's sperm.  It was the only explanation, as Kit could not see Ellison willingly having sex with her.  He repressed the urge to curse again as he settled himself in front of Barnes.  He took a deep breath and tried to calm down.  Ever so cautiously, he lifted one hand to show her that it was empty.  She eyed him warily, but did not move.  Gently, he smoothed her hair away from her face and tried to smile at her.  She reached out to him, her hand mimicking his, touching his hair softly.  She smiled, almost shyly.

 

Then the world shifted out of focus again as she snatched him into her world.  The spotted jaguar circled him as he shifted to his animal shape.  The jag stepped back from the cougar and sniffed the air.  Then she circled again.  He only watched her.  Then she nudged him and seemed to wait for a response.   When he did not respond, she roared at him.  Still, he did not move.  She lay down, confusion showing on the feline face.

 

Kit exerted his will once again and regained his human form.  He held out a hand to her, hoping that she would shift as well, but she did not.  Finally, he understood.  She was stuck in this form, thus the feral behavior she exhibited.  He pulled them both from the spirit plane, only to find Rose standing over them.

 

"What—"

 

Rose never got to finish his question as Kit surged up, disregarding the pain in his leg and punched the man in the face.  Rose stumbled back and hit the floor.  In seconds, Barnes was on him, clawing him mercilessly.

 

"Shit."  Kit tried to pull her off.  Then the room was flooded with men.  Kit was dragged away and pinned to the wall as Alex was torn away from her prey.  It took four men to accomplish just that.

 

"Let me go!"  Kit struggled against his captors.  "I can help, damn it!"  But they did not let go.  Instead, Rose pulled himself up as she was dragged down to the floor.  His face and neck bleeding, he half-stumbled over to her and plunged a needle into her hip.

 

"You son of a bitch!" Kit screamed at him.  "You could hurt the baby, you bastard!"

 

On the floor, Alex stopped struggling and succumbed to the sedative.

 

"It was unavoidable," Rose said blandly.  "Get me something for this," he told one of the men as he gestured to his face.

 

"Unavoidable, my ass.  This whole thing is your fault.  You did this to her!  Your fault!"

 

Rose simply turned and picked up Kit's crutches.  He seemed calm as he walked over to Kit, but when he held out the crutches, Kit could see his hands trembling.  "Let him go."

 

When he was free, Kit grabbed the crutches.  "You are such a fucking snake, Rose.  I hope she kills you.  I hope I'm there to see it."

 

"What happened in here?"  Rose ignored his statements.  "The two of you seemed to connect.  Did you communicate with her at all?"

 

"Fuck you.  I'm not telling you anything."

 

"Do you have a death wish, Mr. Chase?"

 

"Yeah, yours."

 

Rose grabbed the gauze pads from the man who rushed to his side and dabbed at his face with them.  "If you don't cooperate, you will die."

 

"Oh, I'm going to help her.  I have to.  You made sure of that, didn't you?  And when she's put back together and that baby is born, I'm going to help her come after you, you fucker.  I swear it.  We will kill you!"  Rose blinked and swallowed hard and Kit smirked at him.

 

Rose cleared his throat.  "Take him back to his cell."  His voice shook just a bit.

 

Kit tilted his head then and gave Rose a thoughtful look.  "Then again, when I tell Ellison what you've done, he may just kill you before I can get Alex ready for you."  Rose's men started pulling him away.  "Hey, wanna come by the old cell later?  Jim'll be glad to see you!  You are dead, Rose!  One way or another, you're a corpse!"  He snatched his arms out of his captors' grasps.  He nearly lost his balance, but he used his crutches to stay upright.  "I don't need your help.  Don't fucking touch me."

 

They followed him down the hallway as he tried to slow his breathing.  His head felt like an over-ripe melon now.  His heart pounded against his ribs, the sound of it so loud in his ears that he could barely hear anything else.  Had he lost his mind?  Could he really help her?  Did he really want to?  His words, skirting the edges of a life-long commitment to a mad woman, pulsed through his mind to the rhythm of his heart.  He could help.  That much he knew.  But should he?  He had told Ellison that he would not ever make that choice.  Nothing less than a bond to a guide would ever be able to save her, though.  He could get her out of her spirit form without a bond, but repairing her shattered mind and soul would require a bond, a permanent connection to a guide, if it could be done at all.  But she was still a thief and a killer.  He could not tie himself to that.  But the baby.  Two sentinels would produce a sentinel child.  Perhaps he could control her, direct her abilities to something good.  She would not be the only member of The Devereaux Agency with a criminal past.  No.  He could not, would not be a guide.  He had his own life to lead; he had a calling.  What about the baby, his conscience demanded.  He could not let Baker and Rose ruin the child's life.  Dear God, he had to tell Jim Ellison, too.

 

"God, it's too much.  All too much," he muttered his prayer.  His escorts ignored him.  He was breathing hard and trying to force his eyes to focus by the time one of the men behind him grabbed his shoulder to stop him.  He turned to face the door to his prison.  His chest was hurting now and his head was tingling as he was pushed through the door.  Ellison sat up on the top bunk and looked at him.

 

"Chase?  You all right?"  Ellison's face looked concerned and Kit vaguely wondered why.

 

Then again, maybe he knew why, he thought as the edges of the world started to get fuzzy and gray.  "Help me?"  Had he said that?

 

"Oh, shit."  Ellison jumped down and Kit thought it quite strange that the other man could walk on the wall like that.  Then the world faded to black.