Wages of Sin part 4b

 

Danae

 

Disclaimers/Warnings: see part 1

 

 

Alex saw him walk into the office.  He put down the newspaper he was reading and stepped out into the main room to greet the man he had only heard about.  “Hello.  Jim Ellison, right?”  He extended his hand.

 

“Yeah.  Pete here?” After a moment’s hesitation, Ellison shook his hand.

 

“Yes, in his office.  I’m Alex.”

 

“Heard of you.”

 

Alex grinned.  “Heard of you too.”

 

“Oh yeah?  What have you heard?”

 

“Enough.”

 

Ellison closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  “I see.”

 

“Go on in.  Pete’s waiting for you.”  Alex pointed the way then followed the man into his boss’s office.

 

“Jim!  Thank god.  Man, is it good to see you!”  Pete came around his desk and grabbed Ellison’s hand and shook it hard while using his other hand to slap the man on the back.  “Have a seat, man.  Sit, sit!  How are you feeling?  They didn’t hurt you or anything, right?”

 

Ellison sat in the chair.  The man looked a little shell-shocked but otherwise in good health.  “No, I’m fine.  What the hell is going on?  How did you do this?  Where’s Blair?  How is he?  What happens now?”

 

“One at a time, Jim!  Okay, let’s see.  How did I do this?  You probably don’t want to know.  What’s going on?  You’re free and should remain that way.  As for Blair, I really don’t know, to tell you the truth.  I left him to your captain, Jess, and Kit.  I have honestly been too wrapped up in getting you out and finding a way to fix this whole mess to check in with them.  You can use my phone though to call and find out but we do need to talk first.”

 

“About what, Pete?  If I don’t want to know what you did or how you did it but I am free then I need to get home to check on Blair.”

 

“That’s what we need to talk about.  You have your life back, as far as I can determine, but Blair is still kinda left in the cold here, Jim.  I have a few ideas that I’d like to run past you regarding Blair.”

 

“He’s not coming to work for you.  That’s it and that’s all.”

 

“This is not about a job offer.  Damn, Jim, the last time I saw Blair he was in no shape for anything more complicated than breathing.  This is about giving the kid’s reputation back to him. Fact is, he may never get to do anything with it but… Jim, how can you stand it?  People thinking that he’s a fraud?  I couldn’t if it were one of my guys, especially if it were one that I considered a friend.”

 

Alex smiled and bowed out of the conversation and the office, nodding to Pete on his way out.  He needed to get something to eat himself.  Maggie was taking care of Pete but Ellison might need something. 

 

“This is none of your business, Pete.”

 

“I’m making it my business, Jim.”  Pete could feel himself bristling at Jim’s attitude.

Jim shook his head and got up from the chair.  “What the hell am I supposed to do here, Pete?  It’s done.  It’s over.  I can’t change the past.”

 

“True, but you can change the perception people have of the past.”

 

“What?”  He stopped his pacing and stared at Pete as though he had grown another head.

 

“Jim, come clean.  Call your own press conference.  Tell the truth.”

 

“Are you insane?”

 

Pete sighed.  “What do you have to lose?”

 

“My career!  My life!  My privacy!”

 

“And what about Blair’s career?  His life?  His privacy?”

 

“I didn’t make him do it!” Jim flung his arms out.

“No, I guess you didn’t.”  Sarcasm dripped from his words and he did not feel the slightest bit sorry for it.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?  You weren’t there.  You have no idea what it was like.”

 

“No, I wasn’t there.  I don’t have any idea.  But I do know you, Jim.  You can be a hard assed son of a bitch when you want to.  Are you going to stand there and tell me that you were all sunshine and happiness when the shit hit the fan? Because if you are, I should warn you that I won’t believe a damn word of it.”  Pete rolled his eyes as Jim turned away from him.

 

“What do you want me to say?”

 

Pete shrugged.  “Nothing, I suppose.”

 

“Besides, I can’t do any of it anymore.  If I came out now claiming I was a Sentinel, they’d want proof and I can’t give it to them anymore.”

 

“We can fake it through a fucking press conference, Jim.  Get Jesse on the job with our surveillance equipment and put in a few ringers, and we can get through a few questions.  Think about it, Jim.  With the truth out there, nobody would dare touch you again.  There’d be too much attention if you disappeared.”

 

“Oh, there’d be attention all right.  Every criminal in the world would want to take a shot at me.  I’d be dead inside two weeks.”

 

“Or every criminal would high-tail it out of Cascade.”

 

Jim glared at him.  “You’ve read too many fairy tales.  Then there would be legal ramifications.  All the scum I put behind bars would be clamoring for new trials.”

 

“I got good lawyers.  I think it can be proven that nothing you did with your senses could not have been done with state of the art equipment.”

 

“That is not necessarily true.”

 

“Maybe so, but we can make it have the appearance of being true.”

 

“How do you sleep at night?”

 

“How do you?”  He knew that one was low but Jim deserved it.

 

The man’s jaw dropped open for a split second then clenched shut in true, perfect Ellison form.  “I can’t do it.  If I did, I’d lose everything.”

 

“You’ve already lost everything that counted, from where I’m sitting. But…” he held up a hand to ward off the explosion, “I can see that you are not going to be open to this so I move on now to my next solution.  Actually, I don’t even need you for this one.  Not really.  You don’t have to do anything but nod a few times.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“A little fabrication, that’s all.  You and Blair agreed to be part of an internal investigation for the CIA.  They were looking for a rogue agent and I put them in touch with you.  You and Blair were the bait.  Getting the picture?”

 

“That’s ridiculous.”

 

“Not by the time I get through with it.”

 

“How are you going to pull this off?”

 

“Ron has graciously agreed to help us out.”

 

“Now I know you’ve lost what little mind you might have had.  The guy has already double-crossed you once and you’re going to give him the chance to do it again.”

 

“Oh, I think Ron is going to be a good boy now.  He has a clearer picture now of what exactly is at stake for him if he fucks with me on this.”

 

“What did you do?” 

 

“What I had to. Now, are you going to cooperate with me on this?  Because I’m going to tell you, Jim, if you don’t, you’re a bigger jackass than I thought.  This does not hurt you in any way.  What do you say?”

 

“Do it.”

 

“Fine.”  Pete picked up the phone and dialed Ron’s office. It rang several times before someone picked up.  “Frances, is he in?”  A sob reached his ear and he stared at the phone in his hand for a minute.  “Frances, are you okay?”

 

“He’s dead, Mr. Devereaux!  The police are here right now.  They say it looks like it might have been suicide.  I left for dinner and when I came back, he was dead!”

 

“Son of a bitch!  Suicide?  Are they sure?”

 

“I don’t know.  Would you like to talk to the detective?”

 

“No, that’s okay.  I’ll let them work and get back to you or someone later.  Frances, I’m sorry.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Devereaux.”  She hung up and Pete placed the receiver back into its cradle slowly.  He met Jim Ellison’s confused eyes.

 

“Ron’s dead.  Looks like it might have been suicide.”

 

“But you’re not sure?”

 

“No.”  Pete got up and went to the door of his office.  He scanned the rest of the rooms.  Alex was gone.  “Surely, he didn’t.”

 

“What?  Who?”

 

Then Alex was back, walking through the door with two bags in his hands.

 

“Tell me you didn’t,” Pete blurted out.

 

“Didn’t what?  I thought Maggie was bringing you something to eat so I just got something for me and for him.” Alex nodded toward Jim who was standing behind Pete.  “Should I have gotten you something?”

 

“No, no.  Tell me you didn’t kill Ron MacNamara.”

 

“Of course not!  You said wait.  I’m waiting.”

 

Pete released the breath he was holding.  “Thank God.”

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?  You know I wouldn’t do something like that without your say-so.”

 

“He’s dead, Alex.  He’s dead and we’re screwed.”

 

“Why are we screwed?  Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say.”

 

“I needed him for something.”

 

“Oh.  So what happened to the poor bastard?” It was said with a smile on his face.

 

“Maybe suicide.  You know, it would be just like him to try to fuck me over just once more and off himself before…” Pete remembered that Jim, the cop, was witnessing the exchange and shut up.

 

“I was never under the illusion you were a choirboy, Pete.”

 

“I was a choirboy. Once.”  Alex grinned wickedly.

 

“Cut it out.” Pete scolded but then chuckled.  “You are so damn bad, Alex.  Get in here.  We have work to do.”  Pete turned and went back to his desk.  The other two men followed him.

 

“Well, so much for your plan,” Jim said dryly as he sat back down.

 

Pete paused for a moment and thought.  True, Ron was dead and of no use to him anymore.  Except, yes, as a patsy.  The smile that spread over his face was as wicked as Alex’s.  “Not necessarily.”  He reached for the phone.  “If I can’t use Ron to set this up, I’ll use Ron to take the fall.”  He grabbed the phone again.  “Chad!  Hi, buddy.  Hey, did you know that you were investigating corruption in the CIA?”

 

“Who is he talking to now?” Jim asked Alex.

 

“Chad Ryan, FBI.  Nice guy.  Golf buddy.”

 

“You play golf?”

 

“Of course not.  Waste of time, golf.  I don’t feel the need to bat some little ball around on the grass.  Besides, I wouldn’t be caught dead in those clothes.” He shuddered.  “Pete’s golf buddy.  Pete never had any fashion sense anyway.”

 

Jim shook his head and got up from the chair to go stand by the window.  It had not escaped his attention that he had been having an inane discussion of golf and golf fashions with a man who was obviously, from what Pete had let slip, a killer.  “I want to go home,” he sighed.

 

Simon snatched the cordless phone off the counter and quickly answered it.  “Hello?  Hello?”  A dial tone answered him.  He tried call return but it told him that the number could not be reached with that feature.  The caller ID said unknown number.  He swore and headed back out onto the patio where Jade was prompting Blair to eat.  They had discovered that if food were placed in his hands, he would eat it.  Placing it in front of him did no good.  It was as if he had to touch it in order to realize that it was there, but then he would also seem to forget about it after a few bites unless his hand was touched.  Kit Chase sat next to Blair at the patio table while Jade sat across from them.  Jesse Riviera had gone to the loft to pick up more of Blair’s things. 

 

“Who was it?” Chase asked him

 

“They hung up.  Didn’t get to it in time.  I hope it wasn’t Jim.  I should have had it out here with us anyway.”  He shivered a little then.  The temperature was dropping as the sun went down.  If he was getting cold, he knew Blair had to be cold already.  The kid always seemed to be cold.  It was time to get him in out of the weather.  “It’s getting chilly.  We should go inside.”

 

Chase nodded, then turned Blair to face him.  He lifted Blair’s chin so that Blair would be looking him in the face.  Simon’s heart nearly burst when he saw a small smile ghost over Blair’s lips.  Chase reached for the hamburger that had once again been forgotten.  Blair released it.

 

“He sees you,” Jade spoke before Simon could.

 

“Yeah, sometimes.”    

 

“How is that?”

 

“I know how to reach him.  I told you that.”

 

“We need to talk, Mr. Chase.”

 

“That we do, Doc, that we do.”  Chase stood.  He placed the hamburger down on the paper plate and reached for Blair’s arm.  Blair stood and let Chase lead him into the house.

 

An hour and a half later, Blair was tucked into bed despite the fact that it was only nine o’clock.  Simon watched as Chase came out of Darryl’s room where Blair was and make his way down the hallway back to the living room where he and Jade waited. The man smiled at them slightly as he sat down in the recliner across from them.  “Who starts?”

 

“I’d think the ones with the questions and that would be us,” Jade told him.

 

“Ask.  I’ll answer if I can.”

 

“Why does he acknowledge you and no one else?” Jade asked.  Simon anxiously awaited that answer.

 

“Because I know how to reach him.”

 

“Explain that,” Simon demanded.

 

“Captain Banks, Blair’s body is here with us in the physical world but his mind is on the path of the spirits.”

 

“Great, more mumbo-jumbo.”

 

“Call it what you will, but the fact remains, he is there and I can reach him because I can travel the spirit paths as well.”

 

“That makes no sense,” Jade sighed.

 

“Not to you maybe.  Look, Blair is a shaman.  He’s in touch with the spiritual.  Probably has been his whole life but never realized it.  I was born with this gift as well.  Difference is, I was taught to use it.  Blair wasn’t.  Something happened in that place that his mind couldn’t handle, couldn’t accept.  In a sense, it overloaded him.  His mind sought refuge from it in the only place it could.  It was instinct, really.”

 

“Still doesn’t make sense.  You’re talking like this is some real place and Blair’s just on some vacation and only you have the directions how to get there.” Simon was getting frustrated.  He hated all this mystical talk.

 

Chase had the nerve to chuckle at him and Simon gave him his best glare.  The man was unfazed.  “That’s one way of thinking about it.  I’ve been there.  He’s at some kind of temple.  There’s a wolf with him that’s his spirit guide.  He’s scared and with good reason.  Predators surrounded the temple.  He’s also pissed off.  I was serious before when I said that I thought he might kill Ellison.  Ellison is one of the predators he sees at the temple.”

 

“That’s ridiculous!  Jim is Blair’s best friend.”

 

Chase raised an eyebrow at Simon’s statement.  “I think that it would be a truer statement to say that he was Blair’s best friend.  If I remember correctly, Blair’s in this predicament because of Ellison.”

 

“What?” Jade turned to Simon.  He groaned.  He had not told his girlfriend the whole situation.  He had only told her that Blair had seen something that traumatized him.  “What does Jim have to do with this?  Does this have something to do with the dissertation fiasco?  You know, I’ve let all that slide because it was your business.  Besides, even I could see that Blair was really good at police work, but Simon, this kind of thing is important for his therapist to know!”

Chase was shaking his head.  “You people are so dense.  It’s time to stop tiptoeing around this, you know?”

 

“Actually, it’s Jim’s business.”

 

“It’s my business now as Blair’s therapist,” Jade insisted.

 

“You two can deal with that later.  Do you have any other questions?” Chase intervened.

 

“Only about a million,” Jade snapped but she was looking at Simon, not Chase when she said it.

“Okay.  I’m waiting.”

 

Simon dropped his eyes but he could still feel Jade’s green eyes burning holes in him.  “So, he’s at this temple on the spirit path.  How long is he going to be there?”

 

“I don’t know.  Until he can handle what happened.  Until he finds some way to cope.  Until he feels safe.  I just don’t know.”

 

“Well, if you can reach him, why can’t you bring him out of it?” Simon knew he sounded angry but he could not help that.  He was angry.  This whole situation was infuriating. 

 

“He won’t leave the temple and I don’t know why.”

 

“You said that there are predators around the temple.  Apparently, he’s afraid, right?” Jade finally spoke again.

 

“I said it was surrounded by predators.  They’re gone but he still won’t leave the steps.  He’ll let me come to him but he won’t come to me if I leave the steps of the temple.  There is one other thing.  You said that he sees me and he does, in a way.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“He sees me as my spirit guide most of the time.”

 

“Spirit guides, spirit paths, temples!  This is something out of Hollywood, not reality!  It’s nonsense.” Simon stood abruptly and started to pace the room.

 

“You asked.”

 

“I asked for an explanation!  Not a story!”

 

“Fine, you believe what you believe.  I’ll believe what I believe.  Don’t ask me anything else.  Just remember, I have done what you couldn’t.  I’m real to him.  You aren’t.  Which of us do you think has a better shot of helping him?”  Chase stormed out of the house.

 

Simon sighed and plopped back down on the sofa next to Jade.  He flung his arm toward the door in exasperation.  “Did you hear that?  Mumbo-jumbo.  That kid’s as crazy as Sand— I didn’t mean that.  Never mind.”

 

Jade smiled sympathetically and tugged Simon’s arm until he moved in for a hug.  “I heard him.  And I know you didn’t mean it.”

 

“You don’t believe all that, do you?”  He moved out of her arms.

 

“No.  But I believe that he believes it and, belief or no belief, he’s right.  He can do something we can’t with Blair.  I don’t know why but that’s no reason to dismiss it either.  Now, you and I have something to discuss, do we not?  I want the truth, Simon Banks, and I want it now.”

 

He was hoping that she had forgotten.  “I can’t.  The secrets aren’t mine to tell.  When I hear from Jim, I’ll tell him you need to know and why you need to know.  Maybe then I can tell you.  You do understand that?”

 

“I suppose I’ll have to.”

 

“What the hell did you say to Kit!?” The door flew open and an irate Jesse Riviera blew into the room, flinging a duffel bag on the floor near the recliner that Chase had vacated.

 

“Riviera, I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”

 

“He told you about Blair and what he can do and you laughed at him, didn’t you?”

 

“No, I did not laugh,” Simon said solemnly.

 

“You threw it back in his face then.  Well, that’s gratitude for you.  You mark my words, Captain Banks, Kit is the only one here that has any idea how to help Blair and he will figure it out.  When he does, you’ll owe him an apology. Another thing, when that happens, I hope like hell Blair accepts Pete’s offer this time.  It’s obvious to me that he’s not appreciated around here.”

 

“Whoa!  Whoa!  What do you mean he accepts Pete’s offer this time?  What kind of offer and when was it made the first time?”

 

“A job offer.  Pete knows talent when he sees it.  And it was made the day after Blair gave that press conference.  Why?”

 

“He never said anything.”  Simon was astonished.

 

“He said he had to stay with Jim.  Gee, look where that got him.  He didn’t want to be a cop, but he would do it for Jim.  That’s what he said.  We tried to talk him out of it.  Pete even said that Jim had a job there too, if that’s what Blair wanted, but Blair said no, that Jim belonged in Cascade and he belonged with Jim.  I wonder what he thinks now.”

 

“What a mess.  I wonder if that was where he was going after he cleaned out his things at the station.” Simon was unaware that he had spoken aloud until Riviera responded.

 

“Where else was he going to go?  Then you and Ellison went and offered him a freaking badge and he decided to stay.”

 

“Shit.”

 

“Yeah, that’s what I said too.”  Riviera grabbed the duffel bag up and headed down the hall with it, leaving Simon and Jade alone.

 

They sat in silence for a few minutes before she leaned over and kissed his lips gently.  “I have to go, Simon.  I have an early morning and if I’m going to get finished at a decent hour to come over and work with Blair, I need to go to bed.”

 

“Stay here.”

 

“Simon, honey, you have enough houseguests, don’t you think?” She grinned at him.

 

He moaned and let his head drop back onto the back of the sofa.  He had not thought of the effect his invitation to stay with him would have on his love life. 

 

She laughed.  “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

 

“What do I do about Chase?”

 

“Nothing, sweetheart.  Like I said, though I’m not sure how he does it, despite his explanation, he does reach Blair.  To help him, we have to reach him.  Kit may be the link we need to get Blair back.”

 

Simon nodded.  He walked her to her car and kissed her there before she got in and drove away.  He saw Kit Chase sitting on the sidewalk and debated going over to the man and apologizing.  He stood there for a long moment, contemplating what Chase had had to say.  Could it be real?  Jim had had visions before, and though Simon thought he was a little nuts, he had still followed Jim to Sierra Verde because of those visions.  Jim had even mentioned a temple.  But it was so crazy, so unreal.  And yet, he had seen Blair look at Chase.  He had seen the smile, however small and timid, on Blair’s face.  Then there was the time at the hospital when Blair had looked at him.  Blair was in there somewhere.  Blair’s somewhere could be a temple.  Why not?  Simon’s feet had carried him over to Kit Chase while his mind sifted through the puzzling thoughts.  He sat down on the curb.  “I’m sorry.”

 

Chase turned to look at him with a frown on his face.  He shrugged.  “Par for the course.  So, has Dr. Thomas scheduled me for therapy yet?  Does she think a little electro-shock would cure me of my delusions?”

 

“Actually, she thinks you’re a little weird but okay when taken in small doses.  I tried to talk her into the electro-shock thing but she said there would be too much paperwork involved and the hope of success was small,” Simon joked.  He hoped that it would break the ice that had formed between them.

 

It did.  Chase finally grinned at him.  “Apology accepted.  I wasn’t just pouting out here.”  He held up his cell phone.  “I called my grandfather.  I told him what was happening and he had an idea.  Problem is, it requires that I make Blair talk to me.  He’s never done that.  Of course, I haven’t really talked to him either.  But I’m going to try, starting tomorrow.”

 

Simon refrained from expressing his thoughts.  He still had a hard time believing that Chase was meeting up with Blair on some spiritual path. If it worked, then he would believe.  Until then, he would keep his doubts to himself and hope for a miracle.

 

Jim was very tired of waiting around.  He had tried to call Simon earlier but got no answer. He sat at the table across from Pete and Chad Ryan as Pete went over his fabricated file on a non-existent investigation and used MacNamara’s own files as his evidence.  It frightened Jim just how good he was.  Pete’s “documentation” would probably stand up to even close scrutiny, though Jim doubted there would be any close scrutiny.  No, it would be considered a cut and dried case.  Pete was an expert at knowing just how much truth to put in to pad the lies.  Ryan could only scold Pete for not calling him in sooner.  Jim was amazed at how well Pete deflected the man’s reprimand with a few words about how he wanted to but things blew up in his face when Rose and Adler moved in before he could. Ryan accepted that easily.  It seemed that Ryan had no love for MacNamara and had long suspected that he was dirty but had no proof.  Jim figured he was just happy to be right.  Ryan also got on the phone and issued an ABP for Rose for kidnapping. 

 

According to the “investigation,” MacNamara had conspired with Rose and Adler to get Pentagon funding for a study of people with enhanced senses.  They had gotten their hands on a copy of Blair’s master thesis on sentinels and hatched a plan to start a sentinel breeding program by “recruiting” people with one or two enhanced senses and then with selective breeding and genetic tampering, breed full sentinels.  Alex Barnes, the papers said, was a pawn in all of this.  She was the first person they discovered with all five senses enhanced and had been driven insane by their testing.  At which point, she escaped and tried to find the only person that she thought could help her, the man who wrote the paper that she had heard them talk about, Blair Sandburg.  In a moment of paranoia, she accused him of being one of “them” and tried to kill him. After her capture, in Pete’s version of history, Barnes was taken by Rose and re-entered into the program.

 

When Blair recovered from the attempt on his life, he had recruited Pete, afraid that someone in the government was involved and not sure whom to trust.  He asked Pete to help him find out if the “them” she had talked about were real.  They decided that Blair would write a paper about Jim Ellison, modern sentinel, and word would somehow spread about Sandburg’s “research.”  There was some credence to said research in that in his work as a cop, Jim had at times exhibited some above average sensory abilities, which could even be backed up with reports from their cases. 

 

In the course of his investigation, Pete found evidence of CIA involvement.  He had planned to contact Ryan then.  However, all hell broke loose when the false dissertation was leaked to the general public through the press. In an attempt at damage control, Sandburg was forced to recant it, also publicly, as MacNamara could not and would not grab Jim right out of the limelight.  When the furor of the scandal died down, MacNamara then made his move, only to be double-crossed by his accomplices, dragging Pete, Jim and Blair along for the ride.  When Pete managed to finally get the upper hand, he told MacNamara that he planned on exposing him and the man had killed himself rather than face prison.

 

The next morning, they would take their file, along with MacNamara’s with Pete’s alterations, to Senator Adams, Head of the Senate Intelligence Oversight Committee.  In one fell swoop, Pete would give Blair and Jim their lives back and pin the whole mess on a dead man with the FBI's unwitting blessing.  Jim would be there with them, nodding at the appropriate times, answering any questions the man had as succinctly as possible.  It would work.  Pete was that good.  Jim hoped he never had to go against the man.  Even if he still had his senses, he still might lose to Pete. 

 

That thought jarred him a bit.  For the first time in days, he noticed the distinct absence of his enhanced senses.  With MacNamara, he was just thankful not to have them and gave it no more thought but now, as he sat there listening to the two men across the table from him make plans for his life, he really noticed.  It was like all of those imaginary dials Blair had invented for him were stuck at five.  He thought of all the times that he cursed his sentinel abilities and wanted them to disappear and wished he could take all those curses back.  Reality hit him hard in the center of his chest.  He was normal at last but the cost of his normalcy had been far too high to pay.  Blair had paid the vast majority of that cost.  That was what hit the hardest.  One way or another, Jim was going to lose Blair, either to the insanity that gripped him or to the hatred that he must feel for Jim for all the things that Jim had done wrong.

 

“Jim!”

 

“What?” Jim’s head snapped around to face Pete.

 

“I asked if there was anybody at Rainier that would back us on this?  Say that they knew about it?  Money could buy us somebody but I’d rather use someone that knows and respects Blair.  At any rate, we may need a faculty member to smooth things with the administration and his dissertation committee.  Hey, we could say that Blair was actually doing a paper on enhanced senses!  We could say that he was using Alex Barnes as the subject but using your name so that it fit with our plan.  That way, his dissertation committee can’t really complain.  That explains any part of the dissertation they might have read, right?  I can make that work.  Yeah, let me work on that.” The man’s attention went back down to the paper in front of him.

 

“Eli Stoddard, maybe.  Carter Meeks, yeah, Dr. Carter Meeks.  He’d back you if you needed it.  Stoddard may be off somewhere, but Meeks was there just before all this happened.  He should be there,” Jim told him anyway.

 

“Good, good.  Nice to have a back-up,” Pete mumbled absently as he continued to scribble.  “Should be in a faculty directory somewhere.  I’ll find him.  It’s not too late on the west coast.”  One hand reached blindly for the phone and found it.  He then looked to Chad and smiled a very convincing sheepish smile.  “Base I didn’t cover.  Didn’t think we’d have to until that jackass publisher leaked the phony copy of the dissertation to the press.  Give me a minute here.”  Pete slid a glance over in Jim’s direction that held a warning to keep his mouth shut.  As if Jim needed such a warning.  Jim found he could not deal with the accusing looks another minute.

 

“I’m going for a walk.”  Jim got up.

 

“Don’t go far.  Maybe take Alex with you.  Rose is still out there, you know.”

 

“Yeah, I know.”

 

“Have to find him, too, the bastard.  Can’t have him running around fucking this up.”  Did Pete even realize that he was speaking out loud, Jim wondered.  Did he care?

 

Ryan raised an eyebrow but said nothing.  He probably did not want to know.  Jim decided to leave it alone too.  He would leave Pete to deal with it all.  He did not really have a choice after all.  Meeks would say whatever Pete told him to say.  The professor cared that much for Blair and had even called after the press conference to say that he knew Blair had a good reason for what he did.  He would believe that this was Blair’s good reason and back Pete’s story all the way.  Pete would get Blair reinstated in the doctoral program, probably with back pay before it was over.  Of course, a whole lot of good that did with Blair in a catatonic state.  Jim rubbed his temples.  He suddenly had a headache.

 

Alex was in the outer office, drinking coffee and fiddling with something.  On closer inspection, Jim realized that he was looking at a remote control detonation device.  “Shit.”

 

“What?” The man seemed genuinely puzzled at Jim’s reaction.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Oh, this?  Just a little toy.” He looked the device over once more then tossed it on the secretary’s desk.  The woman had gone home hours ago.  Jim figured that was for the best.  Of course, she was probably used to stuff like that.  “Want some coffee?”

 

The question was casual, as casual as the toss.  “Who are you?” he asked before he was able to stop himself.

 

“I’m Alex.  We covered that already.”

 

Jim shook his head.  “This is a nightmare.  I’m sitting around here watching god knows how many crimes being perpetrated and doing nothing about it.  Hell, I’m part of it all!”

 

“It happens to the best of us.”

 

“There’s something about you…makes me nervous.”

 

“Like what?”  The casualness was gone.  He stood.  “Do I offend your sensibilities somehow?”

 

“I don’t know what to make of you.  You’re obviously a killer.”

 

“Yes, I am.  But then, so are you.  Deny it and you lie.  You were a soldier.  You killed when they told you to.  So did I.  It wasn’t pleasant.  It wasn’t something I got off on.  It was duty.  I did my duty until it cost me too much and I quit.  I’ve killed since but for a different kind of duty.  I protect those that can’t protect themselves.  I take scum off the streets and out of this world before they can hurt the innocent.  Seems to me that we are quite alike, you and I.  The only difference is you have a badge and I don’t.  Of course, that leads me to another difference.  You have to follow the rules even when the rules let the guilty prosper.  I don’t.  I like my way better.”

 

“Your way is still against the law.”

 

“Ah, rules, rules, rules.  You know something, Ellison?  I know what your problem is.  You see in black and white.  There are no gray areas, no colors, just your way or no way at all.  That’s why you’re sitting here doing nothing right now as you put it.  The fact of the matter is your whole life has fallen into one of those gray areas that you refuse to acknowledge even exist and you’re lost.  So you sit here and react instead of act and get pissy with me because you don’t know what to do.  I’ll tell you what to do.  Say thank you very much for what Pete is doing for your sorry ass, then forget what you saw here, and try to pick up the pieces of your life and go on.  Otherwise, you and I have nothing more to discuss until you think you can look at me without judgment in your eyes.  You do not know me, and you cannot judge me.  But I know you because I’ve been where you are. Hell, I was you on a day long ago.  Even in that, you have one up on me.  You can still get back what you lost.  I can’t.  Be grateful.”

 

“Guys?  Is there a problem?”  Pete stuck his head out the office door.

 

“No, no problem. I’m heading out for the night, if you don’t need me,” Alex announced.

 

“No, go on.  We got it covered,” Pete told him. 

 

Jim watched the man grab his jacket and leave without another word.

 

“What happened out here?” Pete asked him when he was gone.

 

“I got told to go to hell, not in so many words, but that was the meaning,” Jim answered.

 

“Alex is… well, he’s Alex.” Pete shrugged his shoulders.

 

“What happened to him?”

 

“Lost his wife to friendly fire in Northern Ireland.  They let the guy go with a written reprimand.  Alex tried to kill the guy with his bare hands in the courtroom and ended up in a mental hospital for thirty days.  When he got out, he was also out of a job and the guy was gone. Friend of mine in MI-5 called me up and told me about him and I hired him.  He’s very good at what he does.  They trained him well.  And Alex isn’t crazy.  Alex is just, I don’t know, sad.”

 

“Well, if I don’t get the chance, tell him I’m sorry and that he’s right.  He does know me.”

Part 5